MEH
An angel. The devil. A walking tornado. Trying to live day, to day with debilitating anxiety, & depression. Pulled myself out, more times than you’d think.
Now, I’m barely living. Currently in transition of figuring out who I am. Outside of being a single mom, and releasing my own traumas. Barely having time to myself outside of that.
Afraid to take the next leap, finding myself through spirituality. Trusting myself is scary these days.
Finding various coping mechanisms, dealing with the pains of my present, & my past. Things people in my life say they want to hear. Then find reasons to tell me not to truly care. Treating every problem as some kind of competition against them. Not fully listening.
I just want somebody to truly listen. No judgement.
You want to know the real me? Buckle up & fucking listen.
Tired of being used.
Sick of being abused.
They see me as nothing, but a piece of meat. Sick of fucking bullshit. Gaslighting my very being.
I’m more than just a pretty face, and a freak in the sheets.
Nobody cares to hear what I have to say. Thinking I’m all body, no mind, selfish heart. I’m trying to be everything, BUT that.
I hide myself. The good and bad. Knowing what comes with showing who I truly am. Protecting myself hasn’t been easy. Let my guard down to all the wrong people.
Only wishing someone would care for my heart, like I’d care for theirs.
I have so much love to give for all the ones that complete my world, and some for myself. Yet, I can’t feel the love back. Not in the way I need. What is wrong with me? They never wanted to listen anyways.
Unbalanced support. Maybe I’m blind. Sometimes, feeling unworthy. Unable to cry. Too many responsibilities. Living in a lonely world.
I’m just trying pick up the pieces from the storms of my past life. Trying to be okay for the children in my life. There’s not much else to it.
They are my life. The only reason I still have a life to live.
Fín.
