Have you ever tried to tell someone a painful event that occurred and they blame you, your emotions/sensitivity? Or sometimes, they immediately shut you down, telling you they don’t want to hear it. I have. And it SUCKS. Sometimes, you just need to be heard and validated.
Sometimes, we come across as wanting pity, sympathy. That’s not necessarily the case. Not for me at least. If we don’t release what’s within our mind, it ruminates. Manifesting into negative habits, and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
“Blame the Flame” came to me as I told my mother what it was really like living with an ex-boyfriend of mine, years prior. She asked why I hadn’t told her right away. I didn’t know what to say, but the question in my mind continued to ruminate within my mind. Not wanting to answer her directly, as it may cause some sort of conflict, I decided to write the answer in my journal. Somehow ending as a poem.
Why would I tell you what I’m struggling with in the moment, when you put the blame on me? Victim blaming me, because of my heightened sensitivity. I may be full of emotions. Uncontrollably expressing myself. Don’t blame me. Blame the flame within me.
You shut me down when I was tamed. Blowing out my flame. Not knowing, I kept it contained, till it overcame my everyday. Rising higher, like a wildfire. Growing, uncontrollably. Flying through the forest. Burning everything in my path.
Fearing myself. Hurting myself. I don’t want to hurt anyone else. I tame the flame. Taking the blame. This is insane.
How can I contain the flame without taking the blame, and feeling sane?
Parts of this poem was inspired by a couple of my favorite songs I recently fell across. Linking the music videos below to credit the rightful artists.
